5.5 Years With My Dearest IPG Besties!

Without realizing, my 5.5 years with IPG has really really really come to an end. I have achieved what I aimed for. I have finished what I was supposed to finish. It has reach the ending point and there is no way for us to turn back time and repeat what we wish we had done before this. I still remember when I first came to KK, I felt like finishing the course as soon as possible. I just can't wait to get it all done and go back to where I belong.

Honestly, I didn't really like the place and also didn't manage to get along well with the people there. That was in the first semester. The feeling of going back home was ever strong as time pass by. I just can't wait to go home as soon as the school holiday arrive. I feel like I was being put in a cage whenever I stay there. But then, something change as time pass by. I have started to form a bond between my beloved classmates, friends in IPG, churches friends, travelling companions, Chelsea supporters group and etc. 

Anyway, today I would like to highlight my closest friends in this 5.5 years of studies in IPG. We are known by the name of JOJ! 11 members one heart, one objective which is to be able to be compliment to each other. They are Icha, Kinah, Pajan, Ichum, July, Wandi, Juing, Afiq, Lv, Marsi and me myself. We have went through a lot all these years. All the ups and downs. We even fought and quarrel with each other before this. But in the end, we make up after all. We are one family. 

All those trips to Kundasang, Kudat, Kota Belud, Tawau and dinner after dinner are all gonna be our sweetest memories from now on. We all know that time can never return to how it used to be. What we can do is just reminisce what we have done through all the pictures taken. We can think back all the happiness and sadness all those while. We are all humans and have feelings towards each others. I cannot deny that there are some which indeed change me a lot along the way. They gave me advice and have always been great listeners.

I have been thinking back of the things and events we have gone through all these while for the past few weeks. For the first time in my life, I feel like not going back to my hometown as soon as the exams ended. And I knew that it was the right choice. I went for the final trip with my dearest friends which will always remain as my sweetest memories in my life. We also send our friends to the airport when they finally decided to go back to their hometown and this time they don't need to buy a return ticket back to KK. 

I admit that I am a very emotional person and yeah, I cried for my friends. I will miss their presence in their and I may never have the chance to meet them anymore after this. Who knows. Weep after weep and in the end, it's my turn to go back today. I thought I could hold onto myself but in the end I gave in after all. My friends just meant a lot to me and I love every single one of them! Thanks to all of my JOJ friends for your moments and time we spend together. Sorry if I have made you all angry and if there are some wrongdoings of mine which hurt you all. I hope that we can meet again next time. More posts to come after this! Have a nice day people!^^

10 Days Encounting. Oh Dear Friends!

Now we are down to the final 10 days. First paper of the semester is done and dusted. Nothing can be done to change the fact that I didn't do so well in it. Nonetheless, I still feel quite positive in it! Thanks God for that! 2 more papers to strive before we finish this final exam of degree life! I just hope that I can have the feel and encouragement to study now. It just feel so weird when I just think of how fast time can be when everything is about to come to an end. 

Before it ends, I still have an action research book to rush for. Finally receive some positive comments from my lecturer today. I just need to show him for one last time before I print the real thing! 3 sets of action research book, the work for 5.5 years. Without it, I will never be able to graduate. And it's something which I make, did everything myself. Thanks God again for guiding me all along the way.

After everything come to the full stop in this institute, I need to think of when I am actually gonna go back to my hometown. The thing is I have no idea so far when n how am I actually gonna pack so many things of mine back to my hometown. So many memories created here. I can't bring every single one of them back. I need to pick and choose. Gonna start packing soon. Time flies like swift wind.

I still remember how I wish to be back at home the first thing holiday came. I would usually be the first one reporting to the airport and be so anxious of going back home the day before. One fact, I have Never miss a holiday back at home. I just wanna be back home and be the happiest guy on earth when I reach home!

But now, everything has gone so different. I actually doesn't have that anxious feeling of going back though I know holiday is reaching near me. Maybe this is the last time I will be here. Who knows. God has His plans for every single one of us. I do miss my family members a lot but now I just wanna spend more time with my friends here. When are we gonna spend time as 21 members of maths maniac again? No one knows that answer for sure.

All in all, what I want to say is appreciate every single one of your friends you have now. The next time you see him or her may be after 10 or 20 years later. With the family members of them along them. Spend more time with them, reminisce every happy or sad moment. Celebrate the farewell, take more pictures! We all know Who's important for us. Say what you wanna say and Never regret when everything is too little too late. Well, 10 more days dear friends!

What's Done, Is Done!

People keep on asking, we keep on denying. People do this, we do that. Why do we keep on avoiding the truths all the time? Why must there be so many hypocrite surrounding us all? These are some questions for us to ponder for some moment today. We have chances to do the right thing yet we gave up that chance and instead did something else which is not as good. Weird or not, you tell me!

I know I am not perfect and I will never be one perfect person. No one is perfect in this world other than the high above God of ours. Who can say no to that? I do make mistake and all I wanted is just a chance to say sorry. I wish I can make it up to you before it's really too little too late. But will you ever respond to my apology? Do I deserve a second chance, you will judge.

Standing where I am today doesn't mean that I must be proud all the time. There are always time for us to look back and reflect what has been done all along the years. The road we chose, the places we have been and the choices we have made which brought us all here today. Who to blame if the happiness is not enough for all of us? Who to find in telling our stories? Deep down in our heart, we know the answer! Never say No!

I am a realistic person and surely I know I cannot turn back time. Once hurt is caused, the pain shall always remain there. Even if you say a thousand times sorry also mean no point at all. So if you really want to remain suffering and doesn't wanna let go of it, I can Never stop you. You have made your choice, so I shall respect your choice. I can only say all the best for your future life from afar. May God bless you all the time and I wonder if we will ever say Hi to each other next time when we meet on the street!

The Remaining Time For Allen!

Well... so now we are into the month of November! The final two months of the year 2014, the year which I will graduate for this teaching institute! Been through a lot lately to reach here. So now roughly we have around 15 more days to go before everything here become memories for the rest of our life. We can Never turn back time as we moves on in our life. 

We are who we are and others shall always remain as others to us. For this final semester here, a lot has been done till this moment where I am left with an action research book to bind and 3 exam papers to cover. Done my internship, cover all the assignments, presented my action research and most lately done with my spp interview. I am really grateful to God that all of them have been gone through marvelously. So far so good and I am really happy that they are all over. 

However, now I have a really weird feeling deep inside my heart. I am scare of reaching the end that early. I am not sure if I am prepare to be a real teacher and teach my students in the real school. Can I really do it? And I am really gonna miss my best friends I have here in KK. I have a feeling I will cry so hard on the day I fly away from here for good. Not a good feeling and there will surely be a lot of people, things, food and etc which I am gonna miss here. 

Indeed, I have known a lot people here for all these years. However, like what my friends have said the other day, there are many level of friends. Let me put it like this, I have a lot of friends but some will always just be acquaintance, some are my normal friends or shall i say classmates, some are my best friends and some are my most trusted and most important friends. I care for every single of my friends out there and will be deeply hurt too in case my friends got hurt too. So, please never hurt my friends.

Anyway, with this I would like to sincerely apologize to all of you out there who has been hurt by me directly of indirectly. I can only say that I am really sorry for what I have done all these years and if there's chance, I shall treat you to a meal or two to make it up to you. Not much time left for all of us here. In another 2 weeks time, it's the time to say bye bye to everybody. Never leave a place with regret as life is never too long to live in regrets!

How Complicated Can Humans Be

One thing I could not understand the most is how complicated humans can be at time. They just could not put down as easily as it seems at times. People can be put together in one place for 5.5 years and still act like strangers. Maybe it's true that one mountain can only have one tiger. There can never be two or three tiger being the head of that particular mountain. Not everyone can be a leader. That's why we need to compliment each other and build a successful relationship between each of us.

To be honest, I do still think if I have actually made the right decision on my profession or the path for my career all this while. I know it's like it's near the end of my study life for the teaching course yet I do still think as if I still have the choice. If I had the chance to return to the past and make a choice once more, will I make the same decision? Oh well, I shall keep the answer to myself for now.

Seeing all the scenarios happening surrounding day by day, I have indeed learn a lot. I know who are friends, who are acquaintance and who are just nobody to me. I shall appreciate all those who are friends to me and spend my time wisely with them by my side whenever I have the chance. For those acquaintance, thanks for having you in my life but you are just an acquaintance and always will be one. With limited time left, sorry to say this but I have my own life. Do not bother ruin mine and I shall not ruin yours either. Now to the nobody, you can continue being negative there all day long. But please don't you ever dare influence me. I am a positive thinker and I live a positive life. I believe that everything happen for a reason. No one hate you for nothing. There must be a reason and can you please just be more aware of it and not be a nuisance.

What can I say about this. 5.5 years can be short to someone and can also be quite long to the others. You will have to face each others for half a decade. Day in day out, the same people all along. With the limited time left, please do use the leftover time wisely and not waste it in some hating business. You hate me and I hate you, in the end what do we get? Unhappiness! Try to think of the way in making ourselves happy and be good to the surrounding people. The world needs you to be a better teacher for our next generation! All the best guys and gals.

Friendship Built As Years Passed By!

Last night while I was in the plane, I actually have some sudden thoughts as listed below:

Suddenly I have the feeling of missing my classmates who have been through so much with me for the last 5.5 years. I really wanted the days to pass by as soon as possible at first. But now here I am starting to think how would life be when I they are no longer studying together with me next year. As days pass by without us realizing, we really should enjoy and appreciate every moment we can cherish with them. 

Never feel regret for not being able to use the time we have in the best possible way. Try to think back or reflect what activities we have gone through, whatever hard works, pain and gain, happiness we shared, the fighting n quarreling, the tension created and so on. There are deem to be a lot of unforgettable memories along this way. Some places we went together or some choices which we made together. 

Whatever been done or things undone along this few years, we can never rewind back to the past! We can only recall and smile as years pass by like a video. We shall always put each others in deep mind in years to come. Reminiscent by reminiscent to come. They say degree life is the best part of our life where we are most free to do all the best things in our life. I have so many friends along this wonderful degree life. 

I have some traveling friends where we have been to west Malaysia, east Malaysia and we even went to the overseas, Taiwan! I miss all those trips and I really hope that our trips won't just end there. Indeed, I really want to travel with you all once more when we are on our working journey coming soon next year. 

Other than that, I also have a bunch of wonderful church friends! There are the people who went to the church and went through the church activities with me so so often in the church. I can see that all of us has learned many new things and has indeed grown spiritually with God's guidance to all us. With this, I really thanks God for granting me so many friends along this journey of my 5.5 years of foundation and degree life! A teacher to be is gonna be born soon! Have a nice day everybody!

Final 38 Days! Come on Allen!

It's been a while since I last visited here. Been through a lot of hustle and bustle of this final semester life. So now I am back here as soon as I have finish handing in all my assignments for this degree life, action research done ready to be checked and so on. With not much time left here in sabah, indeed I will have lots of things to miss.

This is the final week of our class and next week we are into our first week of study week where I will spend my time at my home! Exams starts on the 10th of November, follow by 13th n ends on 17th. My interview will be either before the exam period or after it. Honestly, I would rather have it early and need not think of it anymore once it's all over.

Now to the class which I have been in for the last 5.5 years. Sadly to say, it's gonna be the end soon. In 38 days time, everything will be just another part of history for me. Went through all sorts of stuff and indeed a lot of memories created in between! To be frankly, I have actually forgotten most of the things which happen before and can only keep the happiest moments in my mind!

There are a lot of people surrounding all of us. Some good, some bad. Some are what we call pretenders. What I know is that we can never satisfy all the people around us. There are deem to be some people who is not satisfy with our decision. So what to do? We can just close an eye and open an eye in facing this. Be ourselves and get over with this few weeks in the happiest possible way!